How to say no without guilt
A very common roadblock I see with clients when they discover Human Design? Struggling to say ‘no’ to things they don’t actually want to do.
And boy, can I relate! I was the ultimate ‘yes’ girl - I kid you not, my ex used to call me rubber arms which I thought made me cool. That was… until I realised it actually meant I had zero boundaries. 🫣
As women, many of us have been conditioned from a young age to put others first, keep the peace, and be agreeable — even at the cost of our own energy and wellbeing. So we say yes when we should say no, you’re ignoring your energy and intuition. Remember being told to hug your creepy uncle Rod, even though your whole body screamed “hell no”? But you did it to be the ‘good’ girl. Grrrrr! 😡 (There’s so much to unpack here, but I’ll save that for another time.)
The hard truth; every time you say “yes” to something that doesn’t feel right, you’re saying “no” to yourself and abandoning your own needs - ouch! I know, that one hurts.
Learning to say no — without guilt, apology, or excuses (which let’s face it - are mostly lies) — is one of the most life-changing skills you’ll ever master. It’s the key to honouring your time, energy, your truth, and your Self.
5 Simple Scripts On How To Say No
Here are 5 super easy ways to say no without over-explaining, overthinking, or apologising:
“That sounds great, but I don’t have the capacity for that right now.”
“Thanks for the invite, but I was planning a quiet weekend at home — maybe next time!”
“I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m not able to commit to that right now.”
“I’m going to give it a miss this time, thanks for thinking of me.”
“Thanks so much for asking, I’ll have to say no this time.”
Notice how these are kind, clear, and respectful — yet they honour your boundaries.
Super simple? Yep. Easy? Not so much — or else we’d all be doing it. 🤯
Why Saying No Feels So Hard
For many women, guilt comes from fearing we’ll let people down, disappoint others, or be seen as selfish. But boundaries aren’t about pushing people away — they’re about protecting your energy so you can show up as your best Self.
This behaviour has often been ingrained for a lifetime. Rewiring those subconscious behaviours takes effort, but as Atomic Habits points out, “tiny changes, when repeated consistently, add up to big transformations.” And this is probably one of the most powerful transformations you can make.
When you start saying no to things you don’t want to do, you create space for what lights you up - and that is truly life-changing. You also start educating people that you’re not going to say yes to their every whim and invitation, helping you reclaim your time and energy.
What Human Design Teaches Us About Saying No
Your Human Design chart is like a roadmap for how you’re wired to make decisions and use your energy. For many of my clients, one of the biggest shifts they experience is realising it’s safe to trust themselves again — and doing so brings their intuition back online.
When you learn how your unique energy works, it becomes easier to notice what’s a true “yes” and what’s a clear “no.” From there, saying no doesn’t feel selfish — it feels right.
If you’d like to discover how you’re uniquely designed to make confident decisions without second guessing yourself. You can download your free Human Design report HERE
Final Thought
Learning boundaries and saying no is like going to the gym: the more you practise, the stronger and more unshakable you become. And soon enough, you’ll notice how much more energised and empowering life feels when you’re living more on your terms.
Questions to ponder….
Which “yes” in your life is secretly costing you your energy?
What would happen if you finally said no — without guilt?
What could open up for you if you started protecting your energy first?
If you’re stuck saying yes when you really mean no, then learning to honour your own needs is the right move — and I can help. Book a session HERE