What is the true self?

In Human Design you will come across the terms; the True Self and the Not-Self. 

As babies we know we are inherently ‘enough’ just by existing! We cry - we get soothed, we’re hungry - we get fed, we poo everywhere - it gets cleaned up, we vomit on our aunt’s favourite dress and there is absolutely no problem with any of this. We are ‘taken care of, loved and supported’ just by being ourselves. 

As we grew older there was a particular time in our life, usually at very young age when we start getting the idea that ‘just being ourself’ is not enough anymore. And it didn’t have to be a dramatic scenario, it could be something we’d seen or heard that made us think we have ‘to do’ something different to what we were previously doing. From that moment we begun to adapt and adjust our behaviour because that is what we thought we needed to do to continue to be loved, supported and have our needs met.

An example of this could be, you are three years old at a friends birthday party and someone grabs a toy from your hands. You start crying and then an authority figure whether that be your mother, father, someone else’s mother or father etc raises their voice at you and tells you to “stop crying” as “you are not a baby anymore!” From that moment you are under the impression that it is not ok to express your emotions and that your needs don’t matter, so from that moment moving forward you stop expresses your needs and start repressing your feelings and emotions. This is just one small example out of infinite examples.

It is said by age seven these adaptive behaviours and conditioned feelings and limiting beliefs are deeply paved into our neural pathways and have become ingrained into our subconscious programming which are now masking our inherent true nature that we were born with. 

It is proven that our subconscious programming is running our lives ninety to ninety five percent of the time which means it’s also influencing our decision most of the time. Which begs the question…”Is our seven year old self making the majority of our adult decisions?”

These adaptive behaviours, limiting beliefs and false fears are what is termed in Human Design as the Not Self. I’ve also heard this described as the false self, the ego self, or the small self. It doesn’t matter what we call it, this is ultimately who we are not and it is what is clouding us from living out our True Nature which is that unique essence that we came into this existence being.  

Our unique Human Design BodyGraph gives us a snapshot of our True Self which is taken at the time of our birth. Every aspect of the BodyGraph correlates biologically to different areas of the body and each part carries unique characteristics. Where we have definition in our charts (the parts that are coloured in) is where we have consistent and reliable energy that we can rely on, this also shows us our unique traits, gifts and characteristics that we were born with.

Where there is no definition, we are ‘open’ in our chart (the white parts that aren’t coloured in) is where we are susceptible to conditioning from being in the presence of other people as well as the movement of the planets. So on top of our childhood programming, we are constantly being conditioned by those around us as well as the planetary transit field which is constantly in flux.

These two images are the same BodyGraph. On the right, highlighted in blue shows where there is no definition.

Human Design offers a ‘Strategy’ for making decisions based on your aura type, it also gives you an ‘Authority’ unique to the definition in your chart. Following your Strategy and Authority takes the guesswork away from making decisions from our programmed minds…which on a side note, we’ve also been conditioned to do. We were all taught from a young age, ”if you want it, go out and make it happen” and then if we can’t make it happen, it can lead to quitting, frustration, disillusionment, anger, disappointment, futility, bitterness etc.

When you are allowing your mind to try and predict the future to give you the best possible outcome, it’s main focus is to try and keep you safe (which is an illusion, it can’t control external situations - life happens regardless of what the mind thinks should happen). When the mind is trying to predict the future it looks through a blurred lens of your past experiences and whatever your mind can come up with would be a small fraction of what you are actually capable of.

I would like to remind you right now, that you are a limitless, boundless spiritual being having a human experience and are more powerful and capable than what your mind could possibly imagine.

True Self is when we are living from this pure and inherent nature that we were all born with that is designed to move through the world without resistance - free from our childhood programming and conditioning. It’s when you are living from a place of trust that life is holding you and you are being supported by Source/Universal Consciousness/God/The Creator or whatever languaging you would like to use that which explains the invisible life-force that runs through everyone and everything. 

I’ve also heard the term True Self being described as the Authentic Self, Self with a capital S, Magnetic Self, True Essence, True Nature, the Soul….it’s all describing the same thing.

Some signposts to indicate you are living as True Self, you’re:

• Living with a sense of more ease.

• Finding your body in homeostasis more often.

• Noticing your relationships have improved.

• Seeing sweet synchronicities regularly coming into your field.

• Experiencing your True Self Signature goal whether that be satisfaction (Generator), success (Projector), peace (Manifestor) or surprise (Reflector).

• Experiencing vitality.

• Holding a much bigger container of compassion, love and acceptance for yourself and others. 

During a Human Design Introduction session I will remind you how remarkable you are and point out the unique characteristic and traits you came here to emanate. By using your past experiences and your chart as our guide, we will discuss your Not Self behaviours, feelings, thought patterns & limiting beliefs. Once these have been brought to your awareness you will be able to recognise these signposts early and catch yourself prior to being identified with them, avoiding impulsively reacting or making decisions from this place - which can lead to pain, shame, regret, frustration, anger, bitterness, disappointment, disillusionment, futility etc.

I would like to point out that the Not Self is NOT the enemy and is not something we need to ‘get rid of’ or ‘turn our back on!’ In fact, it is the opposite - these ‘parts’ of ourselves are here to be integrated as we are here to deeply and completely love and accept ALL aspects of who we are, and one of the innate aspects of being human is that we look through a personal perspective of fear, inadequacy, insecurity and scarcity that we picked up early in life, this is one of our limitations of being human and we need to have love and compassion for ourselves as well as others for the restrictions this puts on us all.

Like anything, this process can take time and this is where following your Strategy and Authority is key! Having the self awareness and being able to integrate your Not Self by giving it the love and compassion it needs will also help. If you are interested, I have come up with a quick and easy way to integrate these Not Self behaviours with the R.E.A.L Self Love technique which you can learn about HERE.

I heard on a podcast recently that ‘earth is the arena for playing the game of ascension’ and I truly believe we came here to transcend and integrate all our 'Not Self’ adaptive behaviours, thought patterns and limiting beliefs and to remember who the heck we are - which is a once in a lifetime cosmic event that came here to live out our uniqueness and be the shining light for others to do the same.